This is probably going to be the most un-PC thing I ever write in my blog. Feminists (and I include myself in that group) look away now! (Which seeing as I also have to look away, is going to make it quite tricky to write this...)
OK, here goes.
I want a wife. But not just any wife. Oh no - I have my heart set on an archetypal, stereotypical, swirly dress-wearing, 1950 housewife. You know the type - she cooks like a dream, keeps the house spotless, and anticipates her husband's every wish. She wears an apron/pinny like it's her uniform, and she lives to please her man.
I told you this was going to be un-PC, didn't I?
Wouldn't it be nice (I dream to myself) to come home from a hard day's web developing and have my ever-loving wife waiting for me in the kitchen. "Hello darling," she'd say, "have you had a good day? Oh - you look a little worn out, sit down here in the comfy chair and I'll bring you a nice cold beer/hot coffee. Dinner's nearly ready - we're having your favourite (of course!). Are your shoulders a bit tight darling? Shall I give you a shoulder massage?"
During dinner I'd tell her about my day. "Goodness me darling, so you solved a tricky little HasLayout bug, blew away two examples of the double float doubled margin bug, built a min-width layout using the jello mould technique and exceeded e-government accessibility guidelines for levels 1 to 3! Gosh darling, you are clever!"
And after dinner she'd be all "now darling, you go play on your computer while I stack the dishwasher, tidy the kitchen, run around the house with a duster, clean out the cat tray, do the washing and fix you a lovely lunch to take to work tomorrow... no, no, of course you don't need to lift a finger to help - I love running around after you anticipating your every need. Would you like a foot rub when I've finished cleaning up?"
In return of course I'd take care of her, open doors for her, give her some housekeeping money and "ensure she's kept in the manner to which she's become accustomed" - which I would have had to convince her father I was able to do, before he'd have "given" her to me. Hmmm. It doesn't really sound like a fair exchange for having a full-time unpaid servant, now does it?
I suppose these days the closest you'd get to the 1950s housewife would be having a housekeeper, or a cook, or a butler, or even a cleaning lady. But it isn't the same really, is it? Your cleaning lady isn't about to listen to the minutiae of your daily HTML adventures, and neither is your butler, and I'm sure a housekeeper wouldn't be into giving you a foot rub after dinner...
*sigh* I was so born the wrong gender in the wrong decade...
Heh. I'm joking of course. Mostly ;)
But look! It seems that I'm not the only one nostalgic for the 50s:
- 1950's Housewives
- Love those 1950s!!
- 1950's Homemaking tips — a crash course
- Wanting to be a 1950s housewife
- Nostalgic for the 1950s
Technorati tags: 1950s housewife, fantasy life, gender roles, feminism, wife, husband, marriage, 1950s, WebWeaver's World, webweaver.