The release of Clay Aiken's sophomore album, A Thousand Different Ways this week has been accompanied by a resurgence of the endless speculation about his sexual orientation.
It appears that the media, the tabloids and those who enjoy celebrity gossip cannot stop asking the question: "So, Clay, are you gay?". Even though he has answered the question a number of times in the past, it appears that some people will not take "no" for an answer, and continue to insist that he "must" be gay, and that he's either confused or lying about his sexual preference.
And Clay, in his typical stubborn, ballsy way, has decided that he's not going to answer the question yet again - partly because he believes it's rude, intrusive, and none of your business, and partly because he's realised that people will believe what they want to believe - whatever he says.
From Rolling Stone magazine - 07/10/03:
"Some people, for example, seem to think that because he is slender, has long, fluttering eyelashes, and currently doesn't have a girlfriend, he must be gay. ...This kind of stuff seems to amuse Aiken more than it upsets him.
One thing I've found of people in the public eye," Aiken says, "either you're a womanizer or you've got to be gay. Since I'm neither one of those, people are completely concerned about me. They're like, 'What are you then?'
From
Prime Time Live with Diane Sawyer: 10/09/03:
Clay: "I have some very effeminate qualities... I'm not completely blind to it. I have gotten used to people asking the question. They think, ok, he doesn't drink; he doesn't go out and have sex with every woman that he sees. I think it's high time there's somebody who represents people who aren't gay, but doesn't sleep around with everybody, you know. If I'm supposed to carry the banner for all the nerds in the world I'm fine with that, too."
To those people who either insist on asking him again and again (presumably because, thus far, he hasn't given them the answer they want to hear), and to those who are so sure he's gay because he pings their gaydar I would ask: "How the f*ck is this any of your business?"
How would
you feel if complete strangers insisted on speculating publicly about your love life, asked you intrusive questions about whether you preferred men or women, and then completely ignored your answer and carried on believing what they believed in the first place, regardless of the answer you'd given?
Listen: I'm a fully paid-up member of the ClayNation (in case you hadn't noticed!) and I don't give two hoots about what Clay does or doesn't do behind closed doors. It's absolutely NONE of my business - just as what I get up to in
my bedroom is none of his. Or yours.
Firstly - what gives someone the right to pry into another person's private life? OK, if you're planning to enter into a relationship with them - or even just hoping for a quick f*ck, I can see why it might be a fair question to ask - although in both cases I would think by that point you might have a good idea of whether they preferred men or women... But otherwise? How is it any of your business?
Oh. Wait. It's because he's
famous, isn't it? Famous people are fair game, right? It comes with the territory, right? They
deserve it, right?
Really? Why? No, really,
why??Are you jealous of their success and fame? Do you think you have a better voice than they do/can act better than they can/have more talent than they do? Is that it?
Or is it because you envy the money and recognition that comes with fame, and wish you had a piece of it - and because you don't you find it fun to tear them down instead?
Or is it because you secretly find that you're attracted to them, and you can't acknowledge that, even to yourself, and so you attack them instead?
Or is it simply that you enjoy gossip, and you just can't stop yourself from speculating - regardless of the fact that this is a
real person, with
real feelings,
real hopes and dreams, and
real insecurities and hang-ups - just like you - and that they can feel
real pain, sorrow and frustration as a result of your actions - just like you would if the tables were turned?
Oh - and in case you're wondering how Clay's religious beliefs fit into all of this - because you know he's a committed Christian - a Southern Baptist to be exact - and you have some half-arsed notion that Clay's gay but can't admit it because you think his church and/or family are homophobic and wouldn't approve, here's what he said on
Good Morning America this week:
Despite the trauma that the reports have caused, Aiken said his Baptist faith had gotten stronger.
"Are there tolerant Baptists? Absolutely. Are there intolerant Baptists? Oh yes, I'm sure there are," he said.
But the Jesus that he believes in loves all faiths, races and sexual orientations: "Muslim, Jewish, Christian, gay, straight, black, white, everybody."
What does it say about you as a person if you get your jollies from speculating about someone else's sex life? Especially if that speculation includes refusing to believe that what they say is true? What's missing in your life to make you feel the need to pry into the private life of someone else?
The fact that some betting organisations were offering odds on whether or not Clay was going to come out this week says a lot about the state that people are in right now. Have you got nothing better to think about? Nothing more important to focus on? Puh-lease!
Secondly - why would a person's sexual orientation affect the way I feel about them? I have straight friends and I have gay friends - and their private lives have nothing to do with our friendship. I love them all, regardless of whom they choose to make love with. It's the same with the artists, musicians, actors and performers whom I admire - why would the gender of the people
they love have any effect on the fact that
I love the way they paint/sing/dance/act? I just don't understand why some people might think that it would make a difference to the way I respond to their art.
One of my friends, when she found out that I'm a fan of Clay's, shrieked "Why??? He's so GAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!" My response was threefold: "1. How do you know? He's already said he's not - do you think you know him better than he does? 2. What business is it of yours anyway? 3. And finally - why on earth do you think that would that make a difference to the way I feel about him?"
If Clay came out next week and told the world that he's gay, I would shrug my shoulders and say "Oh well, good for him, I'm glad he feels that the time is right for him to come out, and I hope he's found a good man who will love and cherish him forever"... and then I'd go back to enjoying his music and admiring his character and integrity.
And if he announced next week that he's fallen in love with a beautiful woman and they're planning to get married and have dozens of babies, I would say "Oh well, good for him, I'm glad he's found the girl of his dreams who will love and cherish him forever - so when's that CD of lullabies going to be released?"... and then I'd go back to enjoying his music and admiring his character and integrity.
It seems as though Clay has finally arrived at the end of his patience with regards to the questions and the speculation. He's drawn his line in the sand, and he's now refusing to dignify the question with any kind of answer at all. I've gotta say: the man has balls.
In an interview on
Good Morning America the other day, he told Diane Sawyer:
"I've gotten to a point now where I a) am tired of trying, and b) I feel it's kind of invasive, you know? What I do in my private life is nobody's business anymore..." "It's one thing to try to be open and talk to people and try to share as much as I can and, and of course I want to," he said. "But at some point it becomes just really rude, you know?"
Aiken said he didn't understand the curiosity, Sawyer's included, about his sexual orientation... "I'm not spending my time with this anymore, this is a waste of my time."
During the interview he also stated quite clearly that the recent tabloid stories about him are not true - although he's not going to dignify those by discussing them either. And of course - as he predicted - the media and the gossip-mongers are continuing to read their own agenda into his refusal any longer to answer the question. "Oh well" they say, "he didn't say he
wasn't this time, did he? So that
must mean he's gay, but he won't come out and say it!" Which is exactly what he's tired of fighting.
As he told
MTV this week:
"Most celebrities, after a while, get used to the fact that no matter what you say, people are gonna believe one thing or believe another one, so it kinda becomes a waste of your time to even attempt to deal with it anymore," he said, shrugging his shoulders.
And as he said to
People magazine:
"I learned this year that you can't make people like you or care about you or love you."
It's OK, Clay, you didn't need to "make" me like you or care about you or love you - you did it just by being yourself.
My dear friend
Pink Armchair at the CH and
The ConCLAYve wrote this great skit which, for me, really says it all - with humour. I think it demonstrates one of the reasons why Clay's decided that answering "that" question, over and over again, is simply a waste of his time. Enjoy.
2006:
Kimmel: So, Clay... whatcha been up to?
Clay: Well, Jimmy, Ah'm here to promote mah new CD, A Thousand Different Ways, and announce that, AGAIN, Ah'm not gay.
2007:
Kimmel: So, Clay... you don't have any new album to promote, so what's going on?
Clay: Jest here ta announce that Ah'm STILL not gay.
2008:
Kimmel: So, Clay... how're things?
Clay: Well, as ya know, Ah got married this year, to a woman. So Ah guess it's oh-fishul: Ah'm NOT gay.
2010:
Kimmel: So, Clay... I hear you have a new baby.
Clay: Yep, shore do. So Ah guess it's obvious: AH'M.NOT.GAY.
2020:
Kimmel: So, Clay... How many kids do you have now?
Clay: Five. Oh, and Ah s'pose Ah should make mah annual announcement: Ah'm STILL.NOT.GAY.
2050:
Kimmel: So, Clay... I hear you had a hip and two knee replacements.
Clay: Huh? Better crank up mah hearin' aid. What was that? Oh, that's right. And Ah'm STILL.NOT.GAY.
2060:
Kimmel: So, Clay... is there anything you have to tell me?
Clay: Yeah... but Ah'll be danged if Ah kin remember what it is.
Interesting links:On Clay and his private life:
On Clay and
A Thousand Different Ways:Other blogs about Clay, his private life and his new CD:
Oh - and the photos on this page? As always, if you click on a pic, you'll find a larger version hiding just beneath the surface. Just sayin'.
UPDATE 18/02/07: I see I'm getting a whole lot of new visitors to this post who've searched Google to find out
What Clay confessed to Kimmel. The answer is that he confessed to having his teeth done this week.
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Oh boy! My man Keith just keeps on getting better and better! Gawd it is so great to see someone in the American media finally having the balls to stand up there and say exactly what he thinks about the Bush 
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