What not to wear

So I went over to Alice and Iain's house on Sunday, feeling a little sorry for myself after the "I don't want to have coffee with you - I've moved on with my life" incident of the day before.

Aaargh - it's so frustrating when you think of stuff you wish you'd said - hours or even days after you should have said it. Wish I'd said to Andy something like "Crikey! All I wanted was a cup of coffee and a catch-up - I wasn't planning to kidnap you and haul your ass back to EnZed with me..." but I didn't. *sigh*

Ah well. So anyway, to cheer me up a bit Iain and Alice gave me a great going-over, and Iain provided me with this quite amazing piece of information. He told me that my clothes give the impression that I'm completely uninterested in having sex with anyone! Heeeheeeheee yes they probably do! I choose my clothes on the basis of a) keeping me warm b) feeling comfortable and c) so I don't get arrested for public nudity. Heh. All reasons which, apparently, are not the right reasons at all!

Alice decided to go all Trinny and Susannah on me, so we played dress-up with her gorgeous clothes, and Iain passed judgement on my cleavage. Heehee! She taught me this trick where you kinda reach down into your bra and hoik your boobs up a bit to get the cleavage thing really going... Hysterical! I so can't take this seriously. She did let me try on some truly beautiful dresses though, and I guess I did look pretty nice.

Thing is, have you ever noticed how they only ever film What Not To Wear in the summer? Trinny and Susannah are all about the boobage if you've got it - and they're always getting reluctant women into fabulously v-necked outfits - but most of the stuff their "victims" end up buying would be just.too.damned.cold to wear in the winter! How on earth do you look a little sexy in the middle of the coldest winter we've had in years?

Apparently - according to my workmate April, who always manages to look sexay - even when it's freezing cold - the secret is wearing woolly underwear. Who knew? And you can even get woolly underwear in low-cut v-neck styles if you know where to look. heh. See what I'm up against? There's all this secret girl-info that everyone knows but me!

Anyway, I'm getting my hair cut this week - assuming I get my act together - and Alice is taking me shopping soon. I'm being made-over!

Technorati tags: What Not To Wear, Trinny and Susannah, makeover.